Imagine you are running late to work and you are frantically rushing out the door. As you’re hustling down the freeway trying not to speed (at least trying not to noticeably speed), you suddenly feel the car start to vibrate followed by a low juddering sound. You recognize that dreadful sound and realize that you have a flat tire at …
Recently, there seems to be a pattern among the families that I have been working with as a therapist. The pattern starts by the child acting rude and disrespectful. The parent then gets offended and upset and eventually sends the child to their room. Afterwards, nothing is really talked about or resolved between the parent and the child related to …
In the Love and Logic parenting classes I teach, usually at least one parent brings up the argument that it is better to be the child’s parent than their friend. The parent that states this will then explain how he or she lays down the law in the home and how obedient their kids are… all except for one – the …
As a child and family therapist in Gilbert and Mesa, Arizona, I often receive calls from parents who are seeking professional help because of a concern they have with one of their children. The first step I take is to set up an appointment with the parents to gather more information about what is going on in the family and to come …
I know of parents that are deep in debt. Not financial debt, but parental debt. What is parental debt? Parental debt, like credit card debt or any other debt, is when you want the reward or benefit of having something right now but (rather than paying for it right now) you put off paying until sometime in the future. How …
In the updated Love and Logic Parenting Class – Parenting the Love and Logic Way, Jim and Charles Fay share the following observation, “Our heart breaks every time we see someone falling into the ‘consequence trap.’ Well-meaning parents become ensnared in this trap when they believe that the solution to all of their problems involves finding bigger or better consequences.” …
I hear of parents whose knee-jerk reaction to almost anything that their child does wrong is to take away their child’s cell-phone. “It’s the only thing they care about”, parents will tell me. “It’s the only thing that makes them do the thing I ask them to do!” Whether the misbehavior is talking back, refusing to do chores, allowing grades …
Empathy is at the heart of Love and Logic. Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline studied parents to find out why some parents got good results when disciplining, while others, who used the same methods of disciplining, got the opposite. They found that it had everything to do with showing empathy, or sadness, for the kid’s mistakes before applying the …
Do you ever feel like you mess up as a parent? I know I do. Even though I have read plenty of parenting books and, in fact, teach parenting classes, sometimes I still mess up as a parent. Even so, is it nice to know that I don’t have to be a perfect parent to raise great kids; I just …
One of the major worries parents have as their kids get older is whether or not their kids will make good friends. From their own experience, parents recognize that friends can have such a powerful influence over their kids – for good or for bad. Because of that influence, some parents enter into the trap of trying to control who …
As a therapist who works with children and families, I often get questions about how to get a child to stop a bad behavior. Parents will say, “He constantly throws tantrums.” Or “If I tell him ‘no’, he just does it anyway. “ They ask, “How can I get my child to do what I tell him to do?” Before …