Imagine you are running late to work and you are frantically rushing out the door. As you’re hustling down the freeway trying not to speed (at least trying not to noticeably speed), you suddenly feel the car start to vibrate followed by a low juddering sound. You recognize that dreadful sound and realize that you have a flat tire at …
As a child and family therapist, I have met with many teenagers who have shut down. It looks like they have put up 2-foot thick concrete walls around themselves to keep their parents and other concerned adults at a distance. By the time parents contact me, months or even years of damage has already happened in the family and the …
Recently, there seems to be a pattern among the families that I have been working with as a therapist. The pattern starts by the child acting rude and disrespectful. The parent then gets offended and upset and eventually sends the child to their room. Afterwards, nothing is really talked about or resolved between the parent and the child related to …
I know of parents that are deep in debt. Not financial debt, but parental debt. What is parental debt? Parental debt, like credit card debt or any other debt, is when you want the reward or benefit of having something right now but (rather than paying for it right now) you put off paying until sometime in the future. How …
Some kids are picky eaters. Unless it’s Mac ‘n’ Cheese, a dinner role, or plain cheese pizza, these kids can cry, whine, throw fits, or just simply refuse to eat the food on their plates. After a long day at work or taking care of children, the last thing a parent wants to do is to force their child to …
In the updated Love and Logic Parenting Class – Parenting the Love and Logic Way, Jim and Charles Fay share the following observation, “Our heart breaks every time we see someone falling into the ‘consequence trap.’ Well-meaning parents become ensnared in this trap when they believe that the solution to all of their problems involves finding bigger or better consequences.” …
It can be difficult to get kids to do homework – especially when it is boring and repetitive. Creating games around those tedious homework tasks can help shift kids from avoiding their homework to looking forward to doing their homework. One of the games that gets my kids excited about homework is spelling football. I take no credit for coming …
Junior high can be both scary and exciting for students getting ready to attend for the first time. As a parent, you wish you could be there every step of the way, but you know that growing up means your children have to learn how to do some things by themselves. You can always give advice, however. Here are four …
Have you ever had to hold down your child, pry open his mouth, and insert a tooth brush just to make sure your child’s teeth get clean? I have. And I have also seen how ineffective it is, especially when the child just bits down on the brush and stops any cleaning action. Would you like a few ideas that …
It’s easy to fall into the trap of demanding and threatening as a parent – especially when you want your child to get something done quickly. “If you don’t clean your room right now, you can forget about playing on the IPOD for the rest of the day.” Or “If you don’t finish your chores in the next 30 minutes …
As a father who works outside the home, I recognize that it is easy for me to get caught up in stress at work. Indeed, sometimes it is difficult to turn off my work focus and turn on my family focus so that I can come home and be the loving husband my wife needs and the playful father my …
Holidays are a great time for families and extended families to get together and strengthen their relationships with each other. During the festivities parents may talk and laugh together while kids play and run around like chickens with their heads cut off. Occasionally, in the midst of a conversation, a parent or two will hear screaming accompanied by one or …
As a therapist who works with children and families, I often get questions about how to get a child to stop a bad behavior. Parents will say, “He constantly throws tantrums.” Or “If I tell him ‘no’, he just does it anyway. “ They ask, “How can I get my child to do what I tell him to do?” Before …
Effective discipline depends on the age of the child. For children who are small enough to be carried and placed in a location that they can’t get out of themselves, you can try singing the “Uh oh” song. I remember when I first started using the “Uh oh” song. My little girl had just learned to walk. This stage was …
Do you ever feel discouraged when you ask your kids to do something and receive attitude or flat out non-compliance in return. It is easy for all of us to get discouraged, or even angry, when we spend a lot of time and effort trying to provide the necessities of life for our kids when we get responses like, “I …