Imagine you are running late to work and you are frantically rushing out the door. As you’re hustling down the freeway trying not to speed (at least trying not to noticeably speed), you suddenly feel the car start to vibrate followed by a low juddering sound. You recognize that dreadful sound and realize that you have a flat tire at …
As a therapist I often work with very smart and capable parents. The kind of parents that seem to have the answer to someone’s problem even before that person knows they have a problem. These superpowers have helped these parents become successful in many areas of their lives. They are often ultra responsible and their employers love them for it. …
One of the topics that often surface in the parenting classes that I teach is the parent’s fears of their kids failing in school. This is especially true for parents of kids with ADD or ADHD, because of their child’s difficulty staying focused on a school task to completion. Parents want their kids to succeed. So when their child starts …
When does “helping” a child become “enabling” a child? It is hard to know where that line is sometimes. As parents, we love our kids and are willing to make sacrifices for them, but can our sacrifices ever send the wrong message to our kids? The answer is yes! We can certainly send unhealthy and unrealistic messages to our kids …
As a child and family therapist, I have met with many teenagers who have shut down. It looks like they have put up 2-foot thick concrete walls around themselves to keep their parents and other concerned adults at a distance. By the time parents contact me, months or even years of damage has already happened in the family and the …
Has this ever happened to you or someone you know? Child: “Mom we need to go to the store tonight! My project is due tomorrow and I need a poster board and some construction paper!” Parent: “How long have you known about this project?” Child: “They told us two weeks ago, but I don’t see what that has to do …
Recently, there seems to be a pattern among the families that I have been working with as a therapist. The pattern starts by the child acting rude and disrespectful. The parent then gets offended and upset and eventually sends the child to their room. Afterwards, nothing is really talked about or resolved between the parent and the child related to …
In the Love and Logic parenting classes I teach, usually at least one parent brings up the argument that it is better to be the child’s parent than their friend. The parent that states this will then explain how he or she lays down the law in the home and how obedient their kids are… all except for one – the …
“Stop it” “No, you stop it” “No, you stop it!” “How about both of you stop it!” Mom yells to get her kids attention. “But he started it.” “No I didn’t. You did.” What comes out of mom’s mouth next? You guessed it. “I don’t care who started it. I want it stopped now!” Some parents may approach the …
I know of parents that are deep in debt. Not financial debt, but parental debt. What is parental debt? Parental debt, like credit card debt or any other debt, is when you want the reward or benefit of having something right now but (rather than paying for it right now) you put off paying until sometime in the future. How …
Despite that you have a warm and friendly family physician or dentist, some children just don’t like being put under the microscope. Getting them prepared for an appointment can be made easier by reading to them from picture books. This technique gets them familiar with what to expect when it’s their turn. Going To The Doctor by Anne Civardi This …
Some kids are picky eaters. Unless it’s Mac ‘n’ Cheese, a dinner role, or plain cheese pizza, these kids can cry, whine, throw fits, or just simply refuse to eat the food on their plates. After a long day at work or taking care of children, the last thing a parent wants to do is to force their child to …
In the updated Love and Logic Parenting Class – Parenting the Love and Logic Way, Jim and Charles Fay share the following observation, “Our heart breaks every time we see someone falling into the ‘consequence trap.’ Well-meaning parents become ensnared in this trap when they believe that the solution to all of their problems involves finding bigger or better consequences.” …
I hear of parents whose knee-jerk reaction to almost anything that their child does wrong is to take away their child’s cell-phone. “It’s the only thing they care about”, parents will tell me. “It’s the only thing that makes them do the thing I ask them to do!” Whether the misbehavior is talking back, refusing to do chores, allowing grades …
It can be difficult to get kids to do homework – especially when it is boring and repetitive. Creating games around those tedious homework tasks can help shift kids from avoiding their homework to looking forward to doing their homework. One of the games that gets my kids excited about homework is spelling football. I take no credit for coming …
Foster parenting is a commendable way to help your community in its efforts to raise bright, self-confident children that will grow up into stand-out citizens. There may be no better way to bring enrichment to the lives of others, as well as your own, than to open up your home to children in need of a warm, stable environment. There …