Posts Tagged “Relationship”

Conflict, Then Resolution

mother and daughter upset

Recently, there seems to be a pattern among the families that I have been working with as a therapist.  The pattern starts by the child acting rude and disrespectful.  The parent then gets offended and upset and eventually sends the child to their room.  Afterwards, nothing is really talked about or resolved between the parent and the child related to

What is Parental Debt?

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I know of parents that are deep in debt.  Not financial debt, but parental debt.  What is parental debt?  Parental debt, like credit card debt or any other debt, is when you want the reward or benefit of having something right now but (rather than paying for it right now) you put off paying until sometime in the future. How

Loving Relationships Give Consequences Their Power

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In the updated Love and Logic Parenting Class – Parenting the Love and Logic Way, Jim and Charles Fay share the following observation, “Our heart breaks every time we see someone falling into the ‘consequence trap.’  Well-meaning parents become ensnared in this trap when they believe that the solution to all of their problems involves finding bigger or better consequences.” 

Is That Consequence Logical?

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I hear of parents whose knee-jerk reaction to almost anything that their child does wrong is to take away their child’s cell-phone.  “It’s the only thing they care about”, parents will tell me. “It’s the only thing that makes them do the thing I ask them to do!” Whether the misbehavior is talking back, refusing to do chores, allowing grades

How am I supposed to have empathy for my child when he does that?

discipline_with_empathy

Empathy is at the heart of Love and Logic.  Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline studied parents to find out why some parents got good results when disciplining, while others, who used the same methods of disciplining, got the opposite.  They found that it had everything to do with showing empathy, or sadness, for the kid’s mistakes before applying the

Great Parents Say I’m Sorry

Mom hugging child

Do you ever feel like you mess up as a parent? I know I do. Even though I have read plenty of parenting books and, in fact, teach parenting classes, sometimes I still mess up as a parent. Even so, is it nice to know that I don’t have to be a perfect parent to raise great kids; I just

What should I do if my kid makes bad friends?

Teens Smoking - when kids make bad friends

One of the major worries parents have as their kids get older is whether or not their kids will make good friends.  From their own experience, parents recognize that friends can have such a powerful influence over their kids – for good or for bad.  Because of that influence, some parents enter into the trap of trying to control who